4 Stages of Breaking up Exposed

March 7, 2010 by admin  
Filed under Relationship Breakup

Love is said to be the most wonderful thing here on earth. It actually makes our lives more meaningful. In addition, loving and being loved in return or simply being in a relationship is the most wonderful experience that we can go through. However, a happy and bright relationship may turn into darkness once it reaches the end of the line which is usually referred to as breaking up.

This is the time when we feel so terrible because of the hurts and pains that we feel deep within our hearts. As a matter of fact, there are certain stages of breaking up which we are going to encounter whether we like it or not. Here are some of the most common stages of breaking up:

1st stage: The first stage concerning break ups is the feeling of shock. This is actually our initial reaction once we find out that our relationship is about to end. This feeling is just pretty normal because no one knows when, where, and how a certain break up will happen.

2nd stage: Refusing to believe that our relationship has now had to end is the second stage which we will encounter in a break up experience. If we haven’t been shocked with the news of breaking up then maybe, we are just in denial that something is wrong with our present relationship. We try to make ourselves believe that any cracks in our relationship are just cracks that can still be solved; when in fact such cracks are hard to fix and worst of all, cannot be fixed anymore.

3rd stage: The third stage is depression. Being depressed after the break up is just a normal feeling. After all, no one is going to be happy in news about breaking up. However, we simply have to bear in mind not to think excessively about what happened because it won’t do us any good at all.

4th stage: The last stage that we are going to encounter in a break up experience is acceptance. Sometimes, the very best way to deal with a break up is to accept the fact that our relationship was never meant to last. We just have to be happy that we have experience the magic of love even in a short while with someone whom we really loved. At this stage, you realize that it is over and you probably will be willing to meet some new people to potentially date.

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How Can I Stop My Divorce

February 25, 2010 by admin  
Filed under Relationship Breakup

A lot of people going through rough times will ask the question, “How Can I Stop My Divorce?” There is no real catch all answer or solution to the question; each marriage and each person is different. There are some mistakes that are very commonly made, however, and from these we can learn what needs to be done to win back a partner and avoid mistakes.

The first common mistake is that a person will give lines that are meant as reassurances. Saying that you will be better or that things have changed. This sort of line is rarely believed. It sounds desperate and truly insincere, and makes you appear weak in the eyes of your partner. It does not matter how sincere you are or how much you think they want to hear it. “I have changed’ will not stop my divorce!”

What will work is to not say anything. There will not be much that will convince them or reassure them. Actions are what are needed. Do not say that you have changed, actually change. You should be strong in working with you partner, and do the things that are needed to fix your relationship.

Another mistake made is to engage in emotional blackmail. Saying “I love you,” is an obvious line, that makes it seem that you are attacking their weak point. That phase is one of the most powerful of phrases. It carries with it so much weight and power, that it is something that should not be used lightly. It should definitely not be used to try and fix a failing marriage.

How can you convey your love then? You might ask how you can “stop my divorce” if you never say “I love you?” You should not say “I love you” when you and your partner are in a weak emotional state. Save the line for when the marriage is mended. Otherwise, you will tax your spouse emotionally.

The next big mistake to make is to argue. “If they see their hypocrisy, that will stop my divorce.” Techniques of reason to change your spouses mind, or attempting to guilt them to your side, is destined for failure. One wants to be right, and convince your partner that you are right, or you want to point out the failings of your partner. This sort of thing will only push you farther away.

The fix is to not argue. Do not enter into an argument, and do not start an argument. All that will do is add to the problem. “How can not fixing the problem stop my divorce?” The root of the problem can only come to light if you remove the competition and need to win.

“So, how can I stop my divorce,” you may ask. The short answer is to not attack and to use actions over words. It will be through being strong and making changes that things will change. “Words will not stop my divorce, logic and reason will only hurt, I must act and solve the problems without lip service.”

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How A Heartbroken Poem Will Not Fix A Breakup

February 5, 2010 by admin  
Filed under Relationship Breakup

When you have suffered through a breakup, it would seem that a heartbroken poem or quotes will fix things. It will not fix things. If you want to get back together, ditch the heartbroken poem and follow some hard but effective steps to mending the relationship.

These steps seem like they would worsen the breakup. However the world of relationships is not something that makes sense or follows logic. The time where you think you should call, you should not, and when you think you should be as emotive as a heartbroken poem, when you should be more stolid and steadfast.

The first step in fixing things is to accept that you need to break up. Time apart will show both of you how much you want to be together. Even more so, do not communicate, talk, call, send a heartbroken poem, nothing. This extremely hard step will serve to make coming back together even more powerful.

You should not wallow in self pity and sorrow. That leads to the heartbroken poem and song. You should be taking action. Making changes that fix your relationship should be your goal. You need to figure out what went wrong and change that part of your life. Otherwise you are set to stay apart.

It is your task to change and become better. It may seem easier or more appropriate to send a heartbroken poem to get back with the person you love. Romantic words and describing your feelings would seem like it should make things better. The intent is there, but it is likely to do more harm than good.

The reason for the failure of the heartbroken poem is that your ex-partner will likely read it the wrong way. It is full of emotion and heart and such power. Here you are, shipping this power to your ex as though it should change things will make your ex recoil. It will be taken as a form of emotional black mail, like you are going to “win.” This will only make your ex defensive and recoil away.

You will also seem like you are dismissing your ex and their needs. There might be real problems between you and your ex, which need to be addressed and taken care of. What you end up doing is writing a heartbroken poem hoping that it will solve everything. All you will do is add insult to injury.

The best thing you can do is to give space and address your problems yourself. Give plenty of space and try not to communicate. Should both of you address the problems that are plaguing your relationship, and you both make things such that the relationship can come back together, then and only then will things work out.

What seems like it should work, will not work. Things in a relationship do not follow logic or make sense. What should be done is to work on personal growth, instead of trying to fix your partner through talking, arguing, or sending the heartbroken poem.

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How to Get Over Someone You Love A Heartbreak Healing Guide

January 30, 2010 by admin  
Filed under Relationship Breakup

Do you know how to get over someone you love? If you have had a deep, meaningful experience with a partner and the relationship goes sour, you may not know how to get over someone you love.

At first, you will feel terribly hurt and alone. Accept your pain – don’t fight it. You spent a good amount of time and emotional energy on your ex, and that won’t heal in a hurry. It is okay to cry. Talk to your friends and family about how they dealt with a break up.

One useful thing to do at this stage is to write a letter to your ex. Pour out everything that is in your heart. Talk about your love, your expectations, and your pain. Many people find that this letter runs pages in length. Take your time composing it.

Then, when you have said everything that needs saying, roll up the letter and burn it.

That’s right. What ever you do, do not mail this letter to your ex. The purpose of the letter was for you to emote. But, don’t keep the letter lying around either. You want a symbolic ending. Burning gives you a sense of finality that even throwing the letter away won’t give you.

As you get a little bit of perspective on the relationship, the next step in how to get over someone you love is to analyze what went wrong. As unlikely as it seems right now, you will have other relationships. If you learn from the mistakes in this one, the next one has a better chance of success.

Keep your distance from your ex. That will help you in how to get over someone you love. As soon after the break up as possible, exchange any property you have of each others, and then do a complete separation for 30 days. Agree that you won’t call, text, or email each other for a month. This will give you time to recover from the break up.

Use this time to work on areas of your own life that you have neglected. If you have ignored friends because your romantic relationship took up too much time, use this period in your life to reconnect. Friends can provide a valuable support network during this time.

Start working on your own emotional and physical health during this time. Take time to go to the gym and consider getting therapy to help your psyche heal.

You should also look into ways to improve yourself. Join a hiking club. Take a class at the local community center. Take tango lessons. As you work on becoming a better person, the hurt of the relationship will begin to fade away.

You will meet a whole new circle of people when you get involved in activities you enjoy. Some of these people will become friends. And, one may become a soul mate.

And isn’t forming a new relationship the ultimate answer to the question “how to get over someone you love?”

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After You Breakup How to Get Over Someone You Love

January 20, 2010 by admin  
Filed under Relationship Breakup

You have just gone through a big break up and you are asking yourself how to get over someone you love. There are a few steps you can do to help get over your lost love and move on. These steps are made to remind you why things got to where they are and use that to remind yourself.

Your first solution of how to get over someone is to remind yourself of all of the times you were treated like a second class situation in the relationship. Ask yourself if that sort of abuse is what you want back. The obvious answer of “no” will reinforce the breakup and weaken feelings of love that might be lingering. Figuring out how to get over someone you love does not have to be difficult. When your feelings of love arise, redirect them towards others in your life. Focus the love you are feeling now to where it is most important. The positive elements that are currently in your life will provide the foundation for getting over your lost love. You are important and worth it.

You should also put your trust into the fact that things will improve. You have grown from your relationship. The things in our life that hurt us only serve to make us stronger. This is how you can learn how to get over someone you love, by taking in the lessons you have and using them to better yourself and your outlook.

Do not view your ex with bitterness, for that will infect you and make you hurt over the loss more. Instead, direct compassion towards the person you loved, because they will be hurting too. They will also be suffering through the loss. If they have moved on, then you should take that ans use it to help you move on.

How to get over someone you love involves taking the passion that you still have, and redirecting it into other aspects of your life. There is an incredible amount of power behind it and if you let it linger on the person you use to love, if will ruin you. If you instead take it and turn it into the driving force that empowers you to becoming better and achieving happiness.

Always be sure to remind yourself of why you broke up. There had to be pain and misery and strong emotions that brought about the end of your relationship. When you start to want for your ex again, remind yourself why you left them, and realize that you deserve so much more. You deserve happiness and joy and lingering on the pain is not how to get over someone you love.

You are important and you need to be able to move on. Focusing on the bad things will not help you to move on and find love and happiness again. How to get over someone you love is about redirecting your love and passion into becoming better.

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